It's been half a cycle since I have seen or heard from my Scales. What seemed so sweet, so pure... it is hard to not blame myself for them disappearing like so many before them have. Been using the way I was shown to relieve my anxiety and some turns it works, others not so much. And I know to many half a cycle is not long. And there are times it isn't. And then there are times it feels like a lifetime.

I got to see Jobe and Lillya today, it makes my heart glad to see them. I get to see Lillya way more than I get to see Jobe. It did me well to see them. I can always count on any one of my three best friends to cheer me up or make me laugh regardless when they are around. I am forever grateful to have Jobe, Lillya, and Akassa in my life. I am a mess... without the three of them I would be so much worse off than I am, not even sure I would still be in the lands has it not been for the three of them seeing me through every tough time in my life since I came to Valorn. They mean the world to me.

I was found in a guild hall besides my own, sleeping in the bed Scales left a blanket for me on. And another member came and said he didn't have the guilds permission to do that. I feel so bad, he did something sweet for me, and now he might get in trouble for it? Perhaps I should just stay in my own halls from now on. I hate confrontation unless absolutely necessary and a blanket is such a small thing and not something worth fighting over. I know he cares for me even without it. I fear without him there, I didn't feel particularly welcome. Then the person said something about adding items for ALL who occasionally stay there instead, and leaving my blanket... which I can see causing a huge mess for the guild leader later... all over a blanket? No. The sentiment behind the action was sweet but I am not worth the trouble it will cause for him or his leader later. The person said I was welcome to stay, but at that point it was awkward and I was uncomfortable without my Scales awake to help with his guild kin... So I just went back to my own halls.

You know I look back and I have to shake my head at myself. There was SO very long that I thought I would never get over my first love. Even he got tired of me moping after him. I didn't WANT to feel the way I did. But I can honestly say looking back that are there things I would have changed then, yes. Would I be who I am now if I had, no. I regret only that I lost a friend, but at the same time, what is done is done. I am in a much better place now, and I've found someone that makes me feel free, feel loved, feel like I have found home. And that is all I have ever wanted. I have seen him around Valorn SO many times, I remember helping him with raids, (Back when raids were a thing) I remember passing him while shopping so many times and never had we stopped and really talked until recently. But, then I suppose if we had even then the timing wouldn't have been right for either of us. I know I had a lot of growing to do, he said he did too. But what matters is we found each other. And I adore my Scales, he and I have even managed to work through my anxieties and give me a way to free myself of them each turn. Again as I said I have never felt so free and it is amazing, he is amazing.

It's been a few turns since I saw your face, and I miss you already. But I went to our spot, and watched the rifter rise, the light of the rising rifter caught on the wyvern scale on my bracelet and sent shimmers all around me, it was a beautiful sight and made me smile.

I wrote this all before, but seems some of the leaflets in my book fell out so I shall try to recount what has happened since what I last have still here. ~ Life is so crazy. You just never know when it is going to change. About a half cycle, ..not quite half, back I got the chance to talk to someone I've seen many times, enough to consider him friendly but didn't really KNOW him. And it's so odd to just feel like the pieces fell together, I was happy, there was no anxiety it was just wonderful. Roseden and I have spent just about every turn together since. The first night we talked was after everyone had finished finding several chests across the lands and the treasures distributed... Biffy destroyed his. But Roseden and I started talking and it was as easy as breathing. I've never had a relationship that simple. Anyway we decided to see what would happen. So one turn he told me a story he made about a bunny and a dragon falling in love. It was so very sweet. But I fear I was so drawn into the story that I forgot to write it down to keep for memories sake. But I did happen to write a song I made up on the spot there for him. And I want to record it here before it fades from my thoughts.

I walked along life's pathways, never knowing which way to go
The path was long and winding, and I got lost along the way.
Some paths were hard and I stumbled, but never stopped and stayed.
Always hoping, somewhere along the way, I'd find home with someone who loved me, and there I'd spend my days."
Many came and traveled onward, along this path I've walked each day,
but none offered shelter, only temporary smiles to brighten and sometimes delay."
But one turn came to pass, a chance that changed the path..
You slid you hand in mine and guided me in the way.
Safer than ever, and happier each day.
Now the path may be still be rocky, and I may still have days I stumble,
but I fear them no more!
For I know you walk beside me and will lift me once again.
Finally, I look forward to what lays ahead, as never I have before.
For I know you walk beside me, and make my healed heart soar!

Anyway since then, I know I've fallen hard and fast for this sweet rogue. I wake each turn looking forward to seeing his smiling face and hearing from him.